A

I can’t even look at you sometimes.

The guilt seeping off my body.

Betrayal of my instincts.

You hold me close and the universe melts away.

I feel safe. Protected.

When you kiss me I am lost in that space where we share breath.

It’s unreal.

I feel like you could take my life with just one kiss. One touch.

This can’t happen and we both know it.

I fight so hard to keep a wall up

But you penetrate it with every look

I don’t know what you are thinking

What you are feeling

This situation is unrealistic.

The games we play, destructive.

You ask if I want you to stop

You already know the answer

Betrayal of my instincts

The guilt seeping off my body

And I can only look at you. Sometimes.

(unfinished, work in progress)

I went back to that place
where you wrapped your arms around me
and we saw our futures
in the murky depths of the duck pond
before your broken promises
before the lies
the alienation
before you retreated
and i visibly became a shell
of the girl i once was
as I swim in those broken promises
where I cannot see nor touch bottom
i regret nothing
for i am here
and you are not
and for that i couldn't be more thankful
my fortune catches in the wind
it swirls amidst the atmosphere until it dissipates
in that same place
where you pressed your lips into mine
with silent promises
in that space between time