I don't even know where to begin.
My heart torn between its own idealistic tendencies reminds me that I've felt this way too many times to count.
I've been on either side of this coin.
Watching it spin, precariously, my heart pounding with each revolution
And as the gravity around it seems to shift, it falls.
Tails.
What does that even mean??
I lost?
He looks at me. I can't read him. I'm not used to that.
It drives me mad on the best of days.
I want to know what he is thinking.
I don't ask.
Perhaps, I only think I want to know what he's thinking.
I want him to look at me. Not through me. Not around me. I want him to want to tell me every secret he dare not admit to even himself.
Of course, that fantasy has long past died.
I feel like he's settling.
I hate it.
Settle somewhere else.
I want him to know. Just to know when he looks into my eyes that no one will ever love him the way I will, if given the chance.
I'm not ready for it.
But then again, I have always refused to settle.
In the meantime, I feel that shift in gravity, and the precariously ever revolving coin, prior to its reluctant surrender.
