August 2010

Fear.
It clings to every fiber of my clothing
The ones your hands slip so carefully beneath
The temperature of my skin suddenly dropping
It makes me shiver

We can create our own universe,
You and I.
Where the mountains reach the ocean,
and the stars touch the horizon
and only you and I can see our futures in the murky depths of water
Where your hands
Romping with their own volition
Decreases my temperature once more
And I can’t imagine what it was like before this moment.

It doesn't last. It never does.
There. Again.
Fear.

Somehow it clings though I watch it drift along the currents of that pond.
And I feel as though it's taunting me

But then your lips touch mine

And we create our own universe

And my temperature rises.

[random]

I admire the Autumn leaves falling delicately from the golden branches above me.
I pause in the middle of the road
in awe of their assertiveness,
How i long to be the leaf which falls;
on my own time,
at my own pace.
On the other hand, my interpretation may be off...
perhaps it is the animosity of the branch,
forcing lone leaf after another to disengage from the comfort of their home
to be left to die among the nameless masses on the cold asphalt.

2am ramble

Dancing. How sweet the music echoing through the abandoned chambers of my endlessly wandering mind. My body gyrating in the dim environment that surrounds me. I throw my hands above my body and breathe in; the sweet smell of sweat, cologne, and cigarette smoke more intoxicating than the alcohol I consume. I feel at peace, which surprises me since this is not a place conducive to such emotion. I decide the music is to blame. My mind, soothed by the sounds, rests quietly and thanks me for the solitude.

K.

The last look on your face still haunts me

After all these years, I can't forget

I've tried to wipe you out of my memories



I want to say I don't love you

I'd like to say I'm over you

Still, the sound of your voice

Brings me to my knees

I scream but no one can hear me



Fragments of my heart

shattered

fly carelessly with the crisp Montana breeze

I hear them ask me questions

I don't have the strength nor resolve

to respond to

The aching grows deeper and deeper

and for a moment my heart stops beating

and I cannot breathe

[random]

I wonder if it is too late to reconcile with you. I never quite know where these preconceived notions come from; the desire perhaps to link myself with the romanticized ideation I still hold of you and I. However, the past is clear and even the ideation holds no true appeal any longer. I wonder if you have come to a similar conclusion of your own accord. The telephone rings; it is you. I decide perhaps, you have not. I smile when I pick up the receiver, not by choice, but by some false precipice, rehearsed as though if I should move too sudden, I might be killed. Going through the motions seems a relentless task and I consider just ending the conversation but the consequences seem to dire.

"love"

I love artistic ideation
I love the portion of the beach where the sand is wet and the waves catch your bare feet
I love waterfalls
I love being kissed on the forehead
I love kissing someone's hands
I love walks at midnight in the rain
I love music that lingers long after its been played
I love feeling like the world is aligned for a single moment
I love whispering on the phone at three am
I love the ache of your body after an intense workout
I love the feeling left after a lover bites your skin
I love bruises
I love creating masterpieces with leftover food at restaurants while intoxicated
I love dancing in the dark
I love dancing in the dark, in the rain
I love sharing secrets with someone
I love conspiring
I love sitting on the floor next to someone on a chair, grasping onto their leg with my head on their lap
I love my hair falling in my face
I love secret smiles with the eyes
I love guilty knowledge
I love close up pictures of someone biting their lip
I love black and white photography
I love big bang swing music
I love to jitterbug although I don't know how
I love intense conversations
I love being embarrassed to the point of admission
I love someone's breath on my shoulder
I love anticipation
I love attraction
I love primal instinct
I love never having to say a word
I love innocence of deep slumber
I love waking from a nightmare to find yourself in safe surroundings
I love friendship
I love tree lined streets during the summer time
I love the woods at dusk
I love getting lost
I love being lost with someone
I love intricate detail
I love old cars
I love mardi gras beads
I love hearing someone sing
I love laughter of all sorts
I love living each day like its my last
I love mismatched socks
I love wearing pajamas to school
I love wearing a tie
I love reading on park benches
I love star gazing
I love being intimate in public places
I love absolute trust
I love being willful
I love quirky smiles
I love passionate debate
I love picnics on the river
I love techno beats that keep me moving for hours
I love rope swings
I love long showers with my clothes on
I love drinking wine while in the shower/bath
I love a good story teller
I love guitar during the summer, next to the bbq
I love summer block parties
I love making people think
I love challenging someone's ideals
I love to run in the park
I love to play tag
I love to spar
I love to braid hair
I love to play with my tongue piercing
I love to paint my body
I love to make people blush
I love the appearance of atrial flutter
I love fresh fruit in the summer time
I love childlike ambition
I love feeling impervious
I love being led by the hand
I love coffee with a friend at the coffee shop
I love taking pictures of people when they aren't paying attention
I love subtle romantic gestures
I love being read to
I love wandering aimlessly
I love night time exploration
I love watching the lights of the city from a far
I love a great hike
I love to be chased
I love falling in love
I love the first kiss
I love being kissed on the nape of my neck by surprise
I love checking capillary refill
I love tracing the outline of someone's face with my fingertips
I love lingering looks from across a crowded room
I love to be protected
I love subtle jealousy
I love six hour long phone conversations
I love inspiration
I love being someone's muse
I love shallow breathing
I love tachycardia
I love singing at the top of my lungs
I love a glass of wine outside on the balcony
I love good company
I love the action of locking hands
I love walking around campus smiling
I love spontaneity
I love uncensored, uninhibited conversation

[prose]

I’m elated, really.

Smiling as though I am under some influence..

or perhaps it is just some confluence of perpetuated gravitational tendencies

we have towards each other

As if life shifts in scattered moments to rivet our souls

And bind them to one another

We fight it

But lose.

Regardless, it is euphoric.

And this smile,

Is because of you.